On our weekly talk show “Mom’s Coffee Break” , featuring Myself, Tonya Ramsey and Jody Maley, I have noticed that the last two shows we have talked alot about teenagers. What they do, don’t do, how they behave and so forth. I thought this would be a great article idea, not just because I have one, but because many parents are going through what I call ” The Teenager Experience”, but also because many will go through it someday.  All children, no matter what their age or what they say, want to be paid attention to. They NEED to spend time with their parents and families. So here are some ideas of spending time with your teens: go to the zoo. Noone is to “old” to enjoy animals. The monkey exhibit is always fun, they seem to do some pretty inappropriate stuff that most teens, especially boys, find amusing. If your teen enjoys music, take a couple of pills for the headache that will occur, then go to a music store, concert ( if you can handle it), etc. If he/she is into gaming, check out some game stores or exhibits. There is  local facility here that hosts monthly gaming tournaments. The point is to try to spend some time with your teens that focuses on their interests.

Let your teen help prepare at least  one meal a week. It might be a little stressful for you in the beginning, but this will teach them valuable skills that they will need when they venture off on their own (hopefully) in the not so far off future. You don’t want them living on pizza, ramen noodles, and macaroni and cheese, do you?

Have them participate in the cleaning of the house. Yes, I am speaking of CHORES! If your child(ren) do not already, assign some household duties for your teen to complete. Reward them appropriately for your families situation and value system. If your teens don’t know how to keep up a home, can you imagine what theirs will look like?

Teach your teens the importance of doing what we can to help the environment, even if it is as basic as recycling and using reusable shopping bags. Maybe you will learn something, too.

As always, make sure you communicate with your teen.

Your child(ren) DO listen to you, even when you think they do not. Let them know, and prove it, that they can always talk to you about anything, even things that they think “will make you mad”. It is so important for your kids to know that they can ALWAYS come to you about anything and you will help them work out the tough problems that is best for them and your family.

I hope this article provides a little bit of information. As always, please leave your comments! I hope everyone has a great week!

Mandy Sly

The Dometic Goddess

Do you have a child who’s starting school soon, or maybe you’re planning to home school?

It’s never too early to give them a head start. School starts in only a few short weeks, which means you still have time to help them get prepared.

To help you out, Kid’s Activity Calendar is giving away a pretty nice kit of activities around the letter ‘A’.

This pack includes:

• Fun alphabet snacks that start with the letter A
• Letter A coloring sheets
• Letter A search worksheets
• Letter A trace sheets
• Letter A flash cards and
• Game of out of the week idea around the letter A

You can download them for free from this page.

Sometimes saving money can hurt the environment. Take your common household cleaners. These are items we all have in our cupboards, we can spend as much or as little as we want. We can find a different cleaner for every surface of our home. But what about all the chemicals that make up these “wonderful” cleaners. Some of these chemicals are carcinogenic, cancer causing, have been found to cause reproductive problems in males, and end up in our soil and water suppy and can NEVER be removed. No, not even at the waste water treatment plant! For more information on this subject, and to find out more facts please read the book “The Big Green Purse” byDiane MacEachern. I just read it and this book really taught me alot and opened my eyes to just how badly we are hurting our planet and ourselves.

But don’t worry… all is not lost! We can help our wallets, help our planet, and help ourselves with these simple, easy to make household cleaners. You do not need to buy anything special, all of the following recipes use common, househ0ld ingredients most of us already have. If you do have to buy something, I can guarantee you spend  very little money.  So let’s get started!

Window Cleaner

This is so simple your going to smack your forehead. All you need to use is rubbing alcohol. We all seem to have that ever present bottle in our medicine cabinet. Just pour a small amount on your reuseable rag or paper towel and wipe your surface. For stubborn stains ( like kid stains or drips on a glass coffee table, for example) just pour a little bit directly on the spot, let sit a few minutes and wipe off. Alcohol works just as good as window cleaner and does not leave streaks.

Baking Soda

Make a paste and use as “soft scrub” cleanser. Use on tub, tiles, sinks, counter tops.  To make a paste pour a cup of baking soda in a reusable container with a lid, drip enough water to moisten and stir. This should be the consistency of toothpaste. Just use a rag or sponge and wipe on your surface, let sit about 30 seconds, scrub and wipe off. You will need to wipe off with a wet rag or sponge, just like you would commercial cleansers. Baking soda is a GREAT deordorizer also.

To eliminate odors from your drains: Pour a half a cup of baking soda down your drains, let sit 2 to 5 minutes, and follow with a sauce pan full of hot to boiling water.

For slightly slow sink/bathtub drains: pour a half of a cup of baking soda down the drain followed by a half a cup of vinegar, use white vinegar, cover drain. Let sit approximately 3 to 5 minutes depending on clog. Then pour down a large sauce pan of boiling water. For really clogged drains, after you do the above steps, plunge the drain. This has worked with almost every stubborn drain I have had. I did have to buy a commercial drain cleaner one time for an extremely stubborn hair clog (my hair).

Fabric softener: pour a half a cup of white vinegar into your rinse water when you do laundry. Softens clothes and does not leave an odor. Will not damage clothing.

Laundry detergent: you can search the internet, use the search term : homemade laundry detergent. If your budget won’t allow you to buy an all natural laundry detergent, or if your local grocery store does not carry one, use a “free and clear” laundry soap.. No dyes or fragrances. The all natural laundry detergents are more expensive than regular brands, however I have used them for almost a year now and I can say that I use about half the amount of regular detergents. They also come in very pleasing scents and last longer because I use less. I typically use SeventhGeneration brand detergent or the store brand all natural version. I have severe skin allergies and have to be VERY careful what I use. There are many choices on the market now, so if your budget allows the extra expense (usually just a few extra dollars) try an all natural soap, you will probably be pleasantly surprised.

Mandy Sly

The Domestic Goddess

Going Green not as hard as you might think

The hot buzz words these days are “Go Green” , “Save Money”, and  “Frugality”. What most people do not realize is that these ways of life often go hand in hand.  By being frugal and doing what you can to save money, you usually are also being kind to our environment.

When you reduce your household expenses you spend less money, which means buying less and that requires less merchandise to be made by manufacturers.  If these manufacturers are not using some form of renewable technology to make these products and run their factories, said companies are emitting carbon dioxide and other pollutants into our air, water, and soil. These emissions cause natural habitats to vanish . For example fish and plant life cannot exist in water that is extremely polluted. These emissions can also cause health problems for humans. Some emissions are known carcinogens, or cancer causing. Emissions can also cause respiratory problems and skin diseases.

By using less of a product or by making your own cleaning products at home less of these products need to be made in a factory. This is very easy to do by using common household ingredients. Baking soda will clean sinks, counter tops, and bathtubs. Rubbing alcohol will clean glass and mirrors. These common ingredients are safe for you, your family, and your pets and are extremely inexpensive to buy.

Cooking from scratch at home has more benefits than just keeping more money in your bank account. If you buy products with little packaging you reduce the amount of trees being chopped down and not replaced. This increases the quality of our air, as trees produce oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide. Recycle all the paper you do use to be reused to make new paper products, thereby further reducing our need for virgin wood material. Same goes with all your recyclable plastics. Cooking from scratch is also much more nutritious than eating convenience foods or eating in restaurants. You know what is in your food, you know how it is cooked and tastes better. If you have a special diet you can easily accommodate that at home.

Two very basic and easy ways to reduce your carbon footprint: turn off your lights and use energy efficient light bulbs. Yes, these light bulbs are more expensive to buy, but they last months longer than traditional bulbs, saving you money. They use less energy, which results in less energy needed to power your home and this saves emissions put out by our power plants. Make sure everyone turns off the lights when they leave the room or are doing something that does not require a light to be on, like watching television at night. Unplug appliances when not in use and you do not need them to be on at all times, like your microwave, coffee pot, and cell phone charger.

If everybody did one thing, however small that might be, to help reduce their carbon footprint, not only will it help save the environment it will save you money. Most people are cost conscious these days and that is a good thing. By watching how we spend our money we can slowly rebuild our economy, repair the damage done to the earth, and be more financially sound as individuals. If everybody works together, imagine the wonderful world we could create!

Mandy Sly

The Domestic Goddess

www.embraceyourdomesticgoddess.com

By Aurelia Williams, author of Finding More Family Time

You hear the complaints everyday from different people about how busy their lives are with work and after school activities. They never have any family time together because everybody is just so B-U-S-Y.

Rather than falling into the category of the “busy family who does not talk to each other,” simply take 30 minutes a day to reconnect with your family members. Here are some simple ideas you can use to form a family bond (and there are more in my instantly downloadable guide, Finding More Family Time):

1. Turn off the television. Focus your full attention on your spouse or child. Having someone’s undivided attention will boost your self-esteem no matter what your age.

2. Take a walk down memory lane. Laughing at the old-style fashions in the photo albums is a fabulous way to relive funny moments or to honor a beloved relative who has passed away.

3. Worship together. Daily prayer brings joy to the soul, helps us become more compassionate toward others and helps us to understand that life is precious.

4. Prepare meals together. Teach your kids that “the kitchen is the heart of the home.” Let your older children plan the dinner menu once a week and assign each family member a job so everyone has a chance to help.

5. Eat dinner together. Sit together at the table with no other distractions and learn about everyone’s day. Approach these discussions with openness and you will likely learn about the important events in your child’s life.

6. Plan an adventure. Head off for parts unknown with a map, a picnic lunch and a full tank of gas. Laugh when you make a wrong turn and hand off the map to see if another sibling can find their way home.

7. Go on dates. Parents should plan regular “dates” with each child individually. Sharing one-on-one time with each child makes him or her feel like they don’t have to compete with a sibling in order to be heard.

8. Enjoy the great outdoors. Taking the dog for a walk or riding your bikes around the park will give your family extra time to talk as well as keep the family healthy. To keep the activities new and fresh, let each family member choose an activity.

9. Exercise together. Working toward a common health goal as a team is easier than tackling a large goal all by yourself. Many gyms offer family memberships and you can share your experiences and your successes along your way to good health.

10. Plan a family fun night at home. Entertainment and quality family fun does not have to cost anything. Pull out some dusty board games, teach the kids a new card game or have dinner and a movie.

As the old saying goes, take some time to smell the roses and put your family first. No activity should be placed above spending time with the family. What a shame it would be to raise a child to adulthood and yet not truly know that person.

Need More Help?

Find even more family ideas in the Real Life Guidance to Finding More Family Time Guide. This practical guide will show you how to set reasonable expectations for all family members, balance work and life, get organized and more. Click here for more info.

By Aurelia Williams, Author of Understanding Your Teen

Parents spend a lot of time teaching their kids right from wrong. They show them what they think is right and hope they can keep their children from falling for negative peer pressure. Even though we work hard at raising our children to do what’s right, they will still make mistakes along the way. It’s not feasible to expect them not to make mistakes, but we can still help them learn to stay on track by utilizing some techniques to avoid peer pressure and something I talk about in my Helping Your Teen in High School Guide.

Some children will blame others when they’re caught breaking a rule. In most of those cases, the kids end up getting away with it, and are rarely held accountable for their actions. Your child is not immune to being blamed for something they really didn’t do by someone who they feel is their friend. Even though you may know your child isn’t at fault and it’s the friend who broke the rules, you should still put some responsibility on your child. We teach them that they should be held responsible for their actions, so that ultimately would include their choice in friends.

You should teach your child how to get out of bad situations and avoid peer pressure. One of the best ways to help them avoid giving into peer pressure is to role play. Think of various situations where peer pressure could rear its ugly head. Then role play them with your child to help them learn proper ways to deal with the situations. Let them tell you how they would handle the situation first and then share what you think should be done to handle it.

Let them know that you’re there to help when needed; especially if their friend won’t listen and insists that your child go along with the rule breaking incident. Sometimes, the simple act of stating that another adult could get involved, may make the other friend think twice before engaging in the rule breaking activity.

Your child will need to know that even though you’re not in charge of the friend, you are still a parent or guardian to your child and enforce the rules you have in place for their health and safety.

The rules can be adjusted as the child grows older and they start to understand respect for others and their property. They will need to know that trust is something that will have to be built over time and they should abide by the rules to increase your trust in them and gain more freedom for themselves.

There are other children who exhibit positive peer pressure behaviors. Let your child know that these are the friends they should be hanging out with, so the good behavior rubs off on your child. The more favorable the intentions the other children have, the better off your child will be in handling peer pressure situations.

Need More Help?

Here are two guides to help you reconnect with your teen, so you can help them with the rocky road of being a teenager.

1. Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.

2. Real Life Guidance to Helping Your Teen in High School includes practical suggestions to help your child find his/her identity, avoid bullies, handle peer pressure and more.

3. If you’re gearing up for another summer with your teen and want to dread trying to keep them occupied, happy and out of trouble, check out School’s Out for plenty of expert resources to make it a great summer.

Grab all three to be armed with the easy-to-follow advice at your fingertips. They’re available for instant download, which means you can get the help you need any day of the week, even if it’s the middle of the night.

By Aurelia Williams, Certified Life Coach

Let’s Face it, every mom has had one of “those days”. The baby is feed and dry but very fussy, your child forgot to tell you about a science project that is due tomorrow and hands you a list of 10 things that you must get from the store, you forgot the roast in the oven and now it is dry and your husband just called to say that he is stuck at the office… again! After a day like this, it can be very hard to keep your stress level low. With each passing minute you may feel your stress and irritability rising, your patience getting shorter and your fuse about to blow! Calgon Take Me Away!!

When you feel the need to escape and take a few minutes to yourself to de-stress, follow some (if not all) of the tips I share with my own coaching clients below.

Put yourself in time out: Allow some alone time for yourself. Use this time to focus on you. Find a place in your home that you can go to and find privacy. You can ask your partner or a friend to take the family out for a few hours while you enjoy your alone time. Do nothing, sleep, read, watch a movie, and just enjoy your solitude.

Call a Friend: Rather than yelling at your husband or your children, try picking up the phone and vent to a friend. Be sure not to vent AT her, but rather tell her about your day and get it all out. If she offers you some advice, listen and soak it in. This mini-time out session will leave you feeling heard, de-stressed and you will find that by the end of your call some of you anger will have dissipated.

Play: As adults, we sometimes forget the beneficial value of play. Play stimulates our imagination, encourages our creativity, boosts our energy, and best of all, it is fun. Try a game of tennis, a game of cards online or perhaps invite some friends over for an evening of adult board games.

Meditate: Meditation has been proven to reduce your blood pressure, and helps to dramatically reduce your stress level. Meditation and/or prayer will help you to keep in touch with your spiritual side. Meditation is a very effective method of relaxation. To meditate, quiet your mind and allow yourself to focus on one thing, such as your breath. Find a relaxed comfortable position where Try visualizing good health and peace as you inhale. While you are breathing out breathe out all of your stress. Set aside approximately 20 minutes for this exercise. Upon completion, you will see just how much more relaxed your mind and body is.

Take a nap: Find a quiet, comfortable spot and take a nap. Even a short power nap can leave you feeling refreshed, renewed, and more focused. Studies have shown that people who spent 30 minutes each day napping had one third less heart disease than those who didn’t nap.

Eat: Not just anything but certain things. Studies show that certain foods can help reduce stress. Carbohydrates will actually soothe you. Good sources of carbohydrates include rice, pasta, potatoes, breads, air-popped popcorn and low-calorie cookies. Experts suggest that the carbohydrates present in just one baked potato or a cup of spaghetti or white rice, is enough to relieve the anxiety of a stressful day.

Movie Time: If you don’t have anyone to watch the children for you while you de-stress. Put in one of their favorite movies, supply your children with a few healthy snacks, and have them occupy themselves for a little while so that you can take a breather.

Don’t feel guilty for taking time out to rejuvenate your mind and body. Being a mom is not an easy task and it is a full time job. Take a break when you need it and be sure to ask for help to keep the stress at bay.

Next Steps:

If you need an extra hand getting what you want out of life, contact Certified Life Coach, Aurelia Williams. She’ll help you design a life that allows you to reach your business and personal goals; cultivate more fulfilling relationships and that elusive achieve work/life balance you’ve been striving for.

Click here to learn more about her coaching program.

By Aurelia Williams, author of Journey to Joy

“This is making me a headache!”

That lovely line above came out of my now 5yo’s mouth when he was frustrated over the daunting task of trying to learn how to tie his shoes. He blurted the sentence out then tossed the sneaker across the room. I walked over to him and talked to him about his frustration (Heck, getting those loops just right is hard work — smile). I explained to him that while it is OK to get angry and frustrated that there are proper ways to do it.

Anger is a completely natural response to frustration. Let’s face it, life is filled with things that can become frustrating, and most of those things are totally out of our control. What we do control is how we deal with those issues. In this message that I also share with my Journey to Joy students, I wanted to touch on positive ways that we can deal with, express and release our anger and frustration in positive ways.

Think it out - When you begin to feel angry — sit down, relax and then try to think about how you can solve the issue.

Talk it out - Talk to a friend, coach, counselor, or a church member. Expressing your anger by talking to someone about it is a great way to get the anger out.

Write it out - Keep a journal about your feelings. It really helps to get your feeling out of our head and heart and onto paper.

Let it out - Find a place that is secluded and SCREAM!! Yes, let it out - you can scream into a pillow, punch a pillow or stomp. Sometimes a good temper tantrum is in order.

Channel it out - Find some creative way to channel your feelings. Listen to music, paint, turn on the music and dance! There are many ways to creatively channel out anger.

Chill out - Try listening to calming music, taking in slow deep breaths, meditating or doing yoga.

Work it out - Do something physical. Get out and run, go to the gym or go for a brisk walk.

Please keep in mind that anger isn’t always a bad emotion but sometimes the way we deal with our anger is bad. There are many times where anger can be good and is quite appropriate. At can be protection from allowing other people to manipulate or dominate us. It can also motivate us to take action when needed.

Next Steps:

For more help, instantly access your instantly access your Journey To Joy tools for a happier and more fulfilled you. This inspiring eBook with accompanying audio recordings, worksheets and easy-to-apply action steps shows you you how to eliminate stress and lead a productive and satisfying life.

By Aurelia Williams, author of Journey to Joy

Let’s see. You did the laundry, dropped the boys off at Karate and the girls at dance class, stopped at the grocery store for a few last minute dinner items…What’s missing? As you were taking care of everyone else all day long, did you remember to take care of yourself?

I know it can be hard to carve out space for you, since being a mom is a full time job, but taking care of yourself helps you have the strength and energy to keep taking care of everyone else, from your children to the snake your son left in the pocket of his dirty jeans. It’s all part of what I teach my Journey to Joy students. It IS possible to find the time to get what you need done.

If trying to squeeze out a few more hours a day just for you seems impossible, why not try one of these ideas:

1. Don’t be afraid to start small. It’s better for you to take five minutes to read the funny pages or your favorite inspirational poem than it is to not take any time at all for you.

2. Get up twenty or thirty minutes earlier than usual and spend some time doing something you enjoy, such as reading the paper while you sip your coffee or meditating. By the time the children wake up, you will be ready to start your busy day.

3. Talk to the other moms at your children’s classes and find out if any of them live nearby. See if several of them are interested in forming a carpool, so you don’t have to make every trip to drop off and pick up the kids.

4. Find another mom who has children that get along well with your kids. Alternate babysitting services with her, so that you each have a few hours of free time every week to go to the gym or get your hair done. Don’t be tempted to do chores instead. You need this time for you and you won’t feel very rested and refreshed if you pick up the dry cleaning, do the grocery shopping, and run the car through the car wash instead of relaxing.

5. Delegate evening chores like setting the table, washing the dishes, and packing the next day’s lunch. If everyone does ten or fifteen minutes of work, you will have enough free time to soak in the tub or read a chapter of the newest best seller.

6. If you cook all of your family’s evening meals and always pack lunch for your children, don’t be afraid to give yourself a break once a week. Pizza every night may be unhealthy, but an occasional slice isn’t too unhealthy for the kids. Eating the occasional school lunch can actually be a fun treat for children, even if it doesn’t taste that great.

Finally, make sure your family realizes the importance of letting you find some time for yourself. Speak with your children about respecting your quiet time, whenever and however you manage to fit it into your day.

Next Steps:

For more help, instantly access your Journey to Joy tools, for more time a happier and more fulfilled life. This inspiring eBook with accompanying audio recordings, worksheets and easy-to-apply action steps shows you how to squeeze more time and happiness into every single day.

Each area of your home provides you with a unique form of comfort. Comfort and clutter cannot co-exist. Clutter and mess only serves to bring unbalance and will dampen any good spirit. It stands to reason that, give up the clutter and bring in the peace of mind.

De-clutter your kitchen

Your kitchen is regarded as the heart of your home and for a good reason.  Here you are nourished and provided for, even if you are dining on a frozen entrée zapped in the microwave rather than a homemade meal lovingly presented by Mom. An untidy and cluttered kitchen makes it hard to nourish yourself and others, on both physical and emotional. How you care for your kitchen is a hot clue to whether you are giving proper attention to your own nourishment and that of others. Cleaning up and de-cluttering your kitchen will open space for you to receive the support and comfort that you need in life.

De-clutter your living and dining room

These are special places where you socialize with family and friends. Here you engage with the world while being at home through watching television, reading the paper or discussing current events with old friends over dinner. Clutter can turn these otherwise special and social spaces into dens of isolation, especially if the mess is so bad that it has been a time since you have invited people over. Look carefully at your living and dining rooms to see what they say about your relationships. Are they important to you? Are you hiding yourself from others, by burying yourself in nasty clutter?

De-clutter your hallways

You need clear hallways to navigate through your home. Your clutter in your hallways prevents important connections between different areas of your home and your life. Look at your hallways and see what it says about the rest of your life. Do they contain good lighting and are they easily navigable, or do they cause confusion and trip you up? If you feel a disconnection between work and family, self and others, what you need to be done and your obligations, it may be time to give your hallways some good organizing.

De-clutter your bathrooms

Each day we use this important space to meet the world. We begin our days from this room. Clutter in the bathroom can mean your don’t take pride in how you look and feel. How can you feel clean when using a cluttered, dirty bathroom? A clean, well-decorated bathroom is a tranquil sanctuary for rejuvenation and self-care. Scented soaps, attractive accessories, and fragrant candles all take their place here. This is beauty for the mind and soul. You can beautify your life by organizing and cleaning this important room. Take the time to transform your bathroom into a place of refuge and this will bring a sense of the sacred into your morning and evening personal-care rituals.

De-clutter the bedroom

Your bedroom is for sleeping and intimacy, and it functions as a place of renewal for self and relationships. Clutter in the bedroom is worse than in any room. It is anything but restful and peaceful. If you are feeling “wired and tired,” creating order out of chaos in this most personal space will help you relax and to let go of the stresses of the day. Then you will get a good night’s sleep or enjoy some special time with your partner. Of all of your rooms, this one is the most critical for being organized and peaceful.

De-clutter your closets

Closets are everything hidden, unknown, or unrecognized. When we fill our closets with clutter, we harness our ability to be intuitive and insightful. Cluttered closets can indicate problems that you may not even be aware of but which block your progress through life, work, and relationships. Keeping the closet door closed is not an obvious solution. Organizing your closets IS!

De-clutter your attic and basement

A cluttered attic causes you to feel under pressure. It is not easy to feel good about the future when there is so much stuff “hanging about and over your head.” Organize those boxes of yesteryear and you will feel ten pounds lighter, instantly! The basement and other below-ground storage areas are thought to be holders of the subconscious mind, so take the time and have that clutter cleaned up!

De-clutter your garage

Think of your car as a symbol of your agility, independence, and ability to be self-propelled in life. If there’s so much junk piled high in your garage that you can barely lift the garage door, it is time to organize. Do this and be prepared to move forward in your life, as well.

Stop thinking of de-cluttering as a terrific, and start thinking of it as one of the most effective self-improvement exercises available to you. Every magazine and piece of paper you place in the recycle and every book you give back to the library will liberate you. Just as giving those older items to charity, will. Free yourself now of clutter and open the flood gates of joy and energy into your life.